What was the last thing John F. Kennedy said to his wife?

Editor's Note: Reggie is on vacation this week, so we're publishing Reggie's Riotous Re-runs instead of new blogs. Please enjoy this hysterical classic blog which originally ran on November 25, 1963!

"If Connolly farts one more time, I'm going to barf."

"A swing by the book depository and a view of a parking lot. This is a swell parade for the U.S. President."

"Come on, Jackie, just hold it for a minute."

"When we get back to Washington, remind me to sign that bill that gives Texas back to the Mexicans."

"After this, no more riding in open cars. This wind is totally fucking up my hair."

"I've got something caught in my throat."

"If that moron Dulles could see me now."

"When this shit is over, let's go screw on that grassy knoll over there."

"What a fine showing of patriotic American people. Too bad that most of them are going to Purgatory."

"I really regret that whole Bay of Pigs debacle."

"I told you, Jackie, I lost in poker to Bobby. It's just for one night. He is your brother-in-law, for crying out loud."

"If you wear a pillbox hat one more time, I swear I'm blacking both your eyes."

"That assassin looks just like your cousin Wilbur."

"What they say about Texas is true: it's filled with nothing but steers and queers."

"Jackie, this might not be the best time to tell you this, but I've been sleeping with other women."