Friday, December 23, 2005

George Bush Doesn't Care About My Sore Feet

Anyone that has been paying attention to the news knows about what just happened in New York City: the World Trade Center was attacked and felled by terrorists. More recently, however, there was a transit strike, which halted New York's integral transit system that shuttles people to and from their Starbucks coffees and leisurely perusals of Vogue magazine. This was an especially bad turn for a city which is already congested to its borders with vehicles and all manner of food carts. I saw a guy serving broiled lobster tails on 14th street last week. It wasn't his cart that took up a lot of space, but the salt water tank of live lobsters that he put in a nearby parking space. Must have cost him ten dollars at the meter.
So many New Yorkers, myself among them, were forced to walk to work in the chilly first days of Winter, on asphalt and across bridges and probably through neighborhoods that one would rather have avoided. Through leg pain and general boredom, I persevered and trudged two hours to work, learning a little more about my city in the process, like Roosevelt Island really does look like a shithole when viewed from the Queensboro Bridge. However, when I reached the Manhattan side of the bridge, I was greeted with a warm and welcoming sight that would have brought tears to my eyes had they already not been stinging from the smell of stale urine and what looked like some kind of decayed vegetable matter: the Red Cross. Yes, the Red Cross came out for this event, and dispensed coffee, some kind of bland wafer, and a hard chair to sit on for weary travelers suffering through this State of Emergency. And while I watched my fellow New Yorkers argue over a cellophane package of crackers, I thought to myself: what was my federal government--nay, my Federal Government--done to alleviate the suffering caused by this tragedy?
Now, I'm not trying to compare the scope of the transit strike to the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, but if FEMA's and the National Guard's excuse for not responding to the latter in time was the water and destruction left by the storm, then what was the big deal with coming to New York? Seems like you could have landed at JFK and cruised right on over. Better yet, you could have landed at Newark airpoirt and taken the PATH train to 34th Street. I tell you what, here's what you do: fly in to Westchester airport, then take the Bee-Line bus to the White Plains station of the Metro-North commuter rail. Take that into Grand Central Station in Manhattan, and then from there walk two blocks West to the New York Public Library. They have a wonderful exhibit of old sewer maps that is only running until next week. If you get lost, try to ask a mail carrier where to go. Don't ask a taxi driver, though. Those assholes will have you walking in circles trying to figure out what's what.
I regret to say that our Federal Government has failed its people again in their time of need. So much more could have been done: perhaps a line of National Guardsmen and FEMA employees could have stood on every bridge and passed commuters along in the style of a bucket fire brigade. Or maybe they could have ferried passengers across the East River in cool nuclear submarines or something. Hell, they could have just quelled the rampant looting and rioting. But the fact of the matter people is that our Federal Government failed to respond to this emergency, and as a result, my feet are fucking killing me. Next time there's a transit strike, I'll remember to use my resources more efficiently and simply bomb the trains while they're all on lay-ups.

PS: I'd like to give an extra special Thanks a Heap! to FOX News for characterizing this transit strike so succinctly for New York and the rest of the rubes around the U.S. I assume they brainstormed to come up with a word, just one word that would seperate their news coverage from the other, bland reporters (who merely called it a transit strike without hyperbole). Well, FOX, you did it again, and successfully galvanized the issue by repeatedly calling the strike, in speech and on-screen graphics, "ILLEGAL transit strike." Thanks a fucking lot, FOX! Because when I was walking at the rate of ten inches a minute while my left knee locked up and my ears felt like they were going to freeze off, the only thing I was thinking was "gosh, this transit strike is just so...illegal." Once again, FOX, you've got your fingers on the pulse of the American public. Unfortunately, the American public cashed out years ago.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush has probably never been on the subway...and when he walks, two dozen secret service men have to go with him...so he thinks it's a walk with buddies.

Red Cross?

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

National Guard passing commuters...heee heee hee...but seriously had you been in NO you'd know that the Guard did deploy on time (DURING the storm) to many locations, The good folk who would've dehydrated at the dome can attest to this.

as for the people who walked out of the city after the hurricaine, they were failed by many an emergency provision supplier, but the fire fighters and guardsman did what they could...

12:20 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

Copyright © 2008 Reggie Hassenblatt. A NOW Crew Hilarity, All Rights Reserved. | Email reggie@reggiemail.yup